If you wanna know
Where I’m going?
Where I’m going, soon …….
I’m goin’ up yonder
To be with my Lord
Ok so if you have ever been to a Black Homegoing Celebration or a Baptist Church service you have probably heard this song. Going up Yonder, what does it really mean? Going to meet your maker, crossing over, making your transition. This is something that most of us do not like to think about but it is most certainly a part of life. In fact, it is the end of our life’s journey and will we all eventually get there. One of the most important things that we can do to prepare for this inevitable event is to be sure that we have our affairs in order. When we leave this world we will leave behind loved ones who will mourn our loss and unfortunately will be tasked with making our final arrangements. One of the greatest gifts that we can leave behind is a plan for our final arrangements and a means to execute that plan.
A couple of months ago I went to my Primary Care Physician (PCP) for my annual physical and she asked me to do something that she had talked to me about each year for the past several years. She asked me to complete a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. Now in the past I kind of brushed it off like whateva, I don’t need to worry about that right now. This time was different because I had recently lost my father. When we lose someone close to us it tends to make us examine our own mortality. I thought about the recent process of going with my mother to make the funeral arrangements and realized how fortunate we were that my mother had planned ahead for my father’s final arrangements and also has things already in place for her own. The logistics went relatively smoothly, but of course, the grieving process is ongoing.
So as I sat there completing this document and deciding who I want to speak on my behalf if I ever become incapacitated or unable to speak for myself many thoughts were going through my head. I’m like ok, I’m single with no dependents whose going to “take care of me” when I’m old… I think this may be one of the only times if my life I sat there and thought, to myself why didn’t I procreate? LOL. Ok that moment passed and I moved on with the process🤣. So, I select my agent and alternate agent and discuss my wishes with them. During this process I am now thinking to myself ok you have lived an amazing life thus far and thinking of what other goals I want to set for myself. At the same time, I am saying ok when this amazing life does come to an end what do I need to have in place to ease my loved ones’ burden? So I made a list of documents and things that I believe are important to have in place. This is not an exhaustive list and you may require other documentation depending on your personal situation.
- Durable Power of Attorney
- Life Insurance Plan (with at least enough coverage to cover the funeral expenses)-make sure to designate beneficiaries
- Add beneficiaries to your bank accounts, 401 K plan or any other accounts you have
- Last Will and Testament/Will (check with state laws to ensure this document meets state requirements and if a witness or notary is needed)
- Burial Plan
- Copies of your mortgage/deed and the contact information of the lender. So that loved ones can proceed with either transfer of ownership or sale of the property and you should discuss your wishes in this matter. (It is a good idea to have this outlined in the Will)
- Discussion with your loved ones about any specific wishes you have for your final arrangements, this may be an awkward conversation but it will make the process easier for them once you have made your transition
You are never too young or too old to begin getting these things in order. Please don’t leave your loved ones out here scrambling to bury you and make arrangements. There are far too many GoFundMe accounts and fundraisers that take place after someone has passed away. I don’t want to see your family members standing in the middle of the road with signs trying to direct me to a car wash they are having in your honor to raise money for your funeral or trying to sell those pitiful looking fish and chicken plates. Yall already know some of yall family members can’t cook. Don’t put them in that position of embarrassing themselves trying to peddle them plates (I have seen some sad looking plates). There is no reason for these types of shenanigans to ensue. There will already be enough grief, enough heartache, folks might be cussing each other out and there may even be an argument about who gets to ride in the limo🤣🤣🤣. Don’t add to their burden.
